Ten Crush-Worthy Reasons Why You Should Buy, Read, and Blab about Sara Farizan’s New Young Adult Novel Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel

Eat your heart out, Clark Kent. 

Boswellians Jen and Mel were lucky enough to catch bookseller, lovely person, and award-winning author of If You Could Be Mine, Sara Farizan, for a quick interview about coming out, seven-layer dip, and her new novel, Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel. On shelves NOW--go ahead and pick up a copy and prepare to spend the rest of the day getting to know Farizan's newest teen protagonist, Leila!! 

1. Both of your novels—If You Could be Mine and your latest Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel—use first person perspective. What compels you to write from a teen’s point of view? In Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel, readers awaken to the nuances of Leila’s life alongside her; although they are roughly the same age, Sahar seems more perceptive than Leila. Does this have something to do with where and how they grow up? Is it a young soul vs. old soul thing? [RHETORICAL FAN FIC FOLLOW UP: what if they were a COUPLE?! **MINDSPLOSION!!**]

I’m fairly certain that I am emotionally seventeen, so that’s why I write in a first person voice. There’s also a genuine honesty in a teenage voice that gets chipped away the more “adult” a person becomes.

Leila is definitely more like me and grew up in a similar environment to mine. In If You Could Be Mine, I was also trying to address a lot of different issues and in an international setting. Sahar is more cerebral because she has to clue in the audience to a lot about her country, policies, etc. For Sahar in If You Could Be Mine, Nasrin is her whole world and universe for a long time. In Tell Me Again How A Crush Should Feel (Gosh I have long titles) Leila is trying to figure out how to get girls to like her and how to like herself. Leila also has a much easier life than Sahar. I don’t mean where they live either, I mean socio-economically and also that Sahar has to deal with the loss of her mother and taking care of her father.

I don’t think Leila and Sahar would make the best couple. I do think they would be kindred spirits and like each other’s statuses on Facebook a lot.

2. If You Could be Mine focuses on Sahar’s character development almost exclusively, yet Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel gives readers insight into the journeys of several complex, nuanced female characters while maintaining a primary focus on protagonist Leila. Is it safe to say you have a feminist agenda in your writing?

Seriously one of the best book covers ever.

Oh I’m for sure a feminist. I would hope everyone would be a feminist because feminism means equality between the genders. It doesn’t mean hating men, it doesn’t mean not shaving your armpits or any other stereotype that’s been associated with the feminist movement. It means women’s voices shouldn’t be silenced or deemed not as important. I hope I have interesting, fully fleshed out male characters too, but I think young women should have a lot of different representations/stories that speak to the complexity of what it is to be a woman in this day and age. It is so important for women, especially teenage women, to know their self worth.

3. On your Algonquin YoungReaders authors page you mention that the most difficult scenes to write in Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel were the ones in which Leila comes out to her Mom. You also say there that coming out is “just a part of the story and not the whole enchilada.” It seems like Leila is faced with multiple coming-out moments: were you trying to show readers that coming out may initially seem like one big moment, but it’s really a milestone moment that kicks off a lifetime of ongoing “outings”? So maybe coming out is not the whole enchilada…because it’s a seven layer bean dip! [<--- Jen's joke, FYI]

Haha seven layer dip! You are awesome. It’s funny, I’ve spent most of my life constantly having to come out, but before coming out as gay, most of it was coming out as Persian and having to explain what that means. It’s usually never with malice when someone asks/asked “Where are you from?” and I know they don’t mean Massachusetts. So my “coming out” is usually something I always have to deal with, as I suspect many other people have to too, for different reasons. 

I think that scene was difficult to write because I was remembering a lot of that fear and anxiety I had when telling my Mom about my being gay. I built it up in my head as this terrifying ordeal, and while it was emotional, and definitely not something that was resolved right away, I had other things going on in my life too. When my being closeted and understanding my feelings became all I thought about, it felt too much. It was consuming and gross. So I tried to write a story that doesn’t necessarily say “It Gets Better” but rather “You are braver than you know.” I’m not sure if that answers the question? And now I’m hungry for dip. Thanks. J

4. We enjoy how Leila and her older sister Nahal are rivals throughout the book until Leila paves the road to change with her coming out, which is when readers discover some of Nahal’s secrets. Do you believe “coming out” is a communal process, that it’s not just the individual’s sexuality that’s discovered and disclosed, but there are corresponding resultant “coming out” moments for the people who play an active role in that person’s life?

That's a table full of awesome right there, Sara!!

The Nahal character was to demonstrate what Leila thinks of as perfection. Nahal is going to be a doctor, studying at Harvard, which is maybe the equivalent of winning a gold medal in Persian parenting for Leila’s parents. So seeing Nahal making her parents so proud and being an example in the Persian community makes Leila feel like a disappointment. When Leila learns more about the people around her, and realizes not everyone is what they seem, she realizes that nobody has it all figured out. And when Leila does come out, it influences the people in her life and makes them change in subtle and large ways. 

And honesty and genuine feeling really changes a dynamic between people. When someone knows you are being yourself, they in turn can be their genuine self in your presence.

5. In Crush, Saskia demonstrates a more sensitive, educated approach to Leila’s cultural background than what Leila is used to from her classmates at Armstead Academy. Leila’s response is that Saskia doesn’t exactly fit in either—finding her at Armstead is “like finding a magical unicorn in a high school full of cattle.” Do you hope your novels open doors for people of all ages—particularly teens—to discussions about complex issues such as race, nationality, ethnicity, education, class, and religion, as well as gender, sexuality, and age?

I think there are writers who have been doing this for years. The late Walter Dean Myers and Nancy Garden come to mind. I have always been obsessed with identity and how we, as humans, perceive each other. I know social issues aren’t always sexy, and I don’t doubt I will be accused of being heavy handed at times or having an “agenda,” but if people don’t talk about these issues, no progress can be made. There are lots of different people in our world, and I would hope books reflect that.

6. What’s the deal with Saskia? You say on the Algonquin Young Readers authors page that she’s a “just a femme fatale sociopath.” Is she acting out because she’s neglected by her parents? Is she really *that* predatory? Trying to re-invent herself in a new context? Is she just bitchy?

ZOMG THIS COVER TOO!!!!

Saskia is a lot of things. She is an ideal, a great beauty, wealthy, exotic, intellectual, everything that we as a society have been taught is important. When Saskia reveals herself, we learn she has moved around a lot, her parents are never around, she focuses on Leila intently and doesn’t grasp when she has hurt someone’s feelings. She is initially charming, but without empathy. Short of killing someone, she exhibits a lot of sociopath personality traits. I know that it’s a common trope, but I wanted a character that looks perfect, and just may be on paper, but is not at all. Especially in high school when we idealize certain people because of their social status, their grades, looks, whatever and until you really know that person, you can’t tell if they are worthy of your admiration. A great many people may be admirable because of what they have or have achieved, but a person shouldn’t be truly admirable until you find out how kind they are. Nobody’s perfect, but kindness above all else is the most important thing within a person. I needed a character that is not capable of kindness, but has so many other traits that upon first appearance make her seem impressive.

7. Do you consider yourself a “lesbian writer?”

I’m a lot of things. Lesbian and writer are two parts of my identity, for sure. I am drawn to writing young LGBT characters, but maybe one day I’ll write straight main characters. My hope is to write about things that effect young people, but these first two books were very cathartic for me.

8. So we hear you’re a fellow bookseller…what’s on your staff rec shelf?

I do work at a bookstore now! I feel like I am nowhere near as well-read as my colleagues. I’m pretty good at shelving mysteries though. [We could totally use some help with that at Boswell, Ms. Farizan. Have you ever thought of living in the Midwest...?] And asking people if they’d like a bag with their purchase. I read a lot of adult non-fiction and just finished Five Came Back by Mark Harris, which was awesome. I loved Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris. My other staff picks in the store right now are Elsewhere by Richard Russo, In One Person by John Irving, and The Time Fetch for the kids, by my pal Amy Herrick. I’m excited to read One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva, Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour, and Glow, the Rick James autobiography.

9. We also hear that you’re a former comic book store employee…got any graphic novels in the works?

7-Layer WHAT?!?!! SCANDALOUS!!

Oh man, that job was great. It was a New England chain of stores called Newbury Comics and they sold everything. Comics, graphic novels, CDs, DVDs, t-shirts, toys, the whole works. 

I admire a great many graphic novel writers, and would love to write one, but it seems amazingly difficult to me. I love Brian K. Vaughn, Garth Ennis, TerryMoore, Marjane Satrapi, SKIM by Mariko Tomaki still makes me wish I could do that. And I love Clark Kent, more so than his alter ego. If you haven’t read Superman for All Seasons or Superman: Red Son, do it now.

10. If you could go back in time, what’s one piece of advice you would give your teenage self? Would it be about the fart scene Leila lives through…was that experience talking? [[insert laugh track] insert emoticon]

I never farted during an audition, thank goodness. 

I would tell my younger self to not be so anxious, but I don’t adhere that advice much myself. I was a lot more outgoing than Leila. I was school president and in a bunch of clubs, but I would tell my former self not to worry so much about the future and what other people think about you. I would tell her she just has to worry about what she wants for herself and go for that. And I’d tell her to not be embarrassed to like a girl.